Week 24 The Master Keys

So, we have come to the last week of the MasterKeys. It has been all I hoped it would be, and more. It has led me on to a path of change that will never stop, even though this phase is over. Usually when I have had a wonderful time and experienced something extraordinary, like this, I am left with a bittersweet feeling when it is over. A feeling of loss.

Not this time. This is just the start. Like they write on the postcards you have seen: “This is the first day of the rest of your life.”

I now have so many tools that I can use to make my life all that I want it to be. I will not sum it up or choose my favourite parts of the course. There are just too many of them. 

I will just leave it at THANK YOU to everyone who has participated in making The Master Key Course 2013 into what it has been. I treasure you all and wish you all the best in your lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Week 23 Compass held steady

In this weeks video I am once more reminded of the importance of holding on to the compass and following it in the direction pointed. This Master Key course has taught us the importance of choosing a course, or cause, to follow. Directing ourselves towards where we want to go and never stop or change the direction until we get there. In my purse I carry, since the very beginning of this course, a magnifying glass, a compass, and a fork as reminders. Reminders of focus, direction and choice.

Growing up in an Orienteering family I spent most of my weekends in the forest with a compass in the right hand and a map in the left. The course was laid out for me on the map. The compass was the tool to get through the areas without paths to follow. I still laugh when I remember my stubborn love-hate relationship with the compass. I would take out the direction, start out following it to the T, and then….what happened…..I started following another kind of compass I had within. I could feel something pulling me more to the east, more to the west. All of a sudden I would be way off course, having to run much farther than I would have had to, had I only followed the direction of the compass. But, oh no, everytime the same thing, I started drifting sideways following that inner sense of direction. I can`t help but wonder what would have been the outcome of my orienteering career had I only been more focused on direction.

I have been given many wonderful lessons over the past 23 weeks. Lessons aimed at making me self directed in choosing the course of my life ,and holding it firm until the finishline, among many other things. I am so grateful for this amazing experience and I can truly say that it has been a rollercoaster ride more than worth it. I have had some weeks during the course when I have fallen behind and felt discouraged, but now as we are approaching the end I am more inspired than ever before and I know the point of no return has been passed long ago.

 

 

 

Week 22a Coming out of silence

Last week I planned my silent retreat carefully and set aside 36 hours for my assignment. Since I had just been away from the family the previous weekend I could not go away so soon again, which surely would have made it easier for me. I managed to take a day off from work, so I did not have to deal with clients wondering if they were in the hands of a complete nutter.

My husband and my children were great in putting up with yet another “strange” thing that I was up to. Acctually, they enjoyed me being silent for once. I could see the satisfied gleam in the eyes of my 5 year old daughter as she realised she was not getting the usual scolding when causing trouble. My 7 year old son brought a friend over to the house after school, and I heard them talking about me, discussing why I did not speak.  ( I was being on display I think.)

I spent the day at my favourite place, the Japanese bath just outside town. Brought my Mkmma readings and tried to relax my mind. I meditated on my DMP. I had lunch at the spa restaurant, but I found out that the staff got really stressed out by me not speaking. They sort of treated me like I was handicapped. I had to smile at their worries for me, and I believe I got extra special treatment from them because they felt sorry for me somehow. 

As I signed to get the bill I was told that lunch was already paid for. I have no idea who paid for me. A couple of days later I texted my friend who works at the front desk at the Spa and thanked her for lunch, since I gathered it had to have been her treat. But no, she just suggested I had a secret admirer. RAK from her side perhaps? I will never know I guess.

I came out of silence a little earlier than planned, but I was still so happy with the 24 hours I did. I find that I spotted many things in my own behaviour and thought patterns in that short time. I realise things that easily can get better if I change the way I act and think in certain situations. Key word being “easily”! 

Most importantly I once more highlighted the speed I am living at. That speed needs to be reduced. I am longing to my next opportunity for a silent retreat , and that time it will be longer.

Week 22 Cleaning out my cookies

Unusual and challenging assignments have been given to us all through these 22 weeks and this week is no exception. We have two weeks to do it since this is a week with no webinar. 

We are to go into silence for 1-3 days, avoiding any communtication with others than ourselves. No talking, no writing, no signlanguage, and no media. Just introspection. Oooooh, I am getting goosebumps of delight and anticipation! 

Back in the days this would have been an easy one. When there was no family to take into consideration. Being my own boss both at work and at home it would simply have been a case of picking up a pen and crossing out a few days in the calendar. Now, quite a different story. But, however, not making excuses and really looking forward to tonight when I mute myself.                                                                 

                                                                                                                                                                                       

What will be going through my mind during this silence? Will my mind get cleaned out of unneccessary rubbish? Will there be peace and relaxation, or will I get stressed from not talking? 

I remember a “floating”session a few years back that made me go through all of those feelings. In “Floating” you lie in bodytempered water and you float because it has the same amount of salt as in the human body. Inside the egg where you lie it is dark, as in a mothers womb and all you do is just relax and float. It is amazing. As you get out of the egg you feel as if you have landed after a trip to the moon. 

 

To get a little inspiration for my retreat into silence I searched the WWW and found this video. I apologize for it being a bit lengthy, about 20 minutes, but when you have the time I believe it can inspire you to at least make room for 1 day of silence in your life. Who knows where it might lead?

 

Week 21 Pressure building

Over the past two weeks I have felt alot of pressure building in me. A crisis in my personal life is putting all my newly aquired learnings to the test and I am to say the least a bit dissappointed with myself. I wish I could apply the Law of substitution, the Law of relaxation, and the Law of forgiveness to the situation I am in. ( Which is caused by me in cooperation of the Law of attraction obviously.)

I wonder if there is a Law of Grace as well? In that case I could sure use it.

Why am I dissappointed? Well, I would have thought that with all this hard work put into doing all the excersises during the 5 months of the Mkmma I should have been able to produce a different outcome in this situation. I would have liked to be able to present more self control, decisiveness, kindness and courage as from the Makeover virtues I have been practicing.

Instead the old blueprint took over with force and I have gotten caught in the very same feelings that we are now looking to use as Tools for Expansion: Fear, anger, guilt, hurt feelings and unworthiness. 

I guess all those negative feelings are a steppingstone for change. If I didn´t have them it would be all too easy to just let things slide and go about my business as always. They do help in creating a desire for a better outcome. 

Today I think of something a good friend of mine often says: “people always do the best they can in any given situation, If they could have done it any differently they would have.”  I find relaxation and peace with those words and move on from there in faith that all will be well.

 

 

Week 20 The life I chose

Accepting that we are living the life that we have chosen can be a hard pill to swallow. But it is a fact that everything that manifests in your life is a consequence of your own thoughts and choices made.

Isn´t that one of the most important things we try to teach our children? Every choice you make has an effect. If you choose not to brush your teeth, you will have cavities. If you choose to stay up late you will be tired in the morning. If you choose not to follow the rules of the house there will be consequences.

Feeling sorry for oneself is one of the things I dislike the most and therefore I have always been painfully aware of all the choices I have made in my life. I have suffered them in bright light, not allowing myself to regret any action I have taken. 

The conclusion I have come to this week is that what hurts the most is that I knowingly have pulled the rug from under my feet all of my life. Sabotaging my own success and suffering the consequences without changing my behaviour.

 

 

 

Week 19- Seeking effects or cause?

Reading lesson 19 of the Master Keys this week leads me to recall all the travels I have done in my life. For so many years while I was single I got a huge kick out of going to far away places, preferably on my own, in search of adventure and freedom. The best trip was unplanned and spontaneous. Sometimes I didn´t even tell anyone I had gone until I was back. My friends never understood how I could do that. They called me courageous. (and crazy).

I just felt unsatisfied, hungry, and kept repeating that pattern in search of peace. Peace in my soul. If only I could find the perfect beach, or the perfect company, the perfect hangout….

High on experiences but never at peace with myself. I met alot of people just like myself on those trips. Single backpackers travelling around the world; gatherers of memories that were unable to stay long in one place, always searching.

What were we looking for, really? What do you get from bungy jumps, safaris, fullmoon parties and surfing in shark infested waters? 

A cause was missing, that is for sure. Seeking the effects without cause led to emptyness. Or the lack of cause in life led to seeking effects.

As I had my children all that changed. I couldn´t run anymore. I was grounded, wings clipped. A new journey started. Refreshing to let go of the egotrip and focus on another person instead of myself. At first I got a feeling like in the movies of prison bars slamming shut in front of me, but after a while I felt free. The existential worries were exchanged for diapers,bottles of milk, and sleepless nights. Now, a few years later, football practices, bedtime stories, homework etc etc is filling up my time. 

But as the mist of breastfeeding hormones has cleared up, I am becoming aware of that old search for cause again. I believe this Mkmma course came to me at a time when I was ready to continue my “travels”. I am enjoying discovering my power and ability to control it. 

As we have been told over and over in this course- thought is cause. 

I concentrate my thoughts to find it.

                                                               

Week 18 – Making each day count

For two weeks now, as we have been reading the obituaries daily, I have been wondering what would be written about me if I died today. My own summary seems to fall short of the finish line. I feel as if I am still just starting on the journey towards leaving that legacy that I want to be mine. 

On the other hand, what makes a life count? Is it not enough to live well, to enjoy your life and be happy as long as it doesn´t take anyone elses good? 

 

A part from Og reads:” I will live this day as if it is my last. I shall fondle my children while they are young; tomorrow they will be gone and so will I. Today I shall embrace my man with sweet kisses; tomorrow he will be gone, and so will I. today I shall lift up a friend in need; tomorrow he will no longer cry for help,  nor will I hear his cries. Today I shall give myself in sacrifice and work; tomorrow I will have nothing to give, and there will be none to recieve.”

 

Really, what else can be more important? To enjoy and appreciate the people around you and live every day as if it was your last. Make the most out of it.

 

One of the obituaries I read that caught my attention a little more than all the rest was about a man that seemed to have spent alot of his life in prison. He was not all that concerned about following the laws of society, but somehow his story was one of a person of courage and persistance. He had started an association for prisoners rights and at one time initiated a strike among prisoners in all of Swedens prisons for better treatment. 

At the end of his life he caught cancer and the person writing the obituary described how this man had continued his buisness of living life right to the very end. He was then running a used car dealership (of dubious reputation) and during all his visits to the hospital the parking lot was always filled with cars to be sold. “Business must go on” , the man said. The obituary finished with the very “dry” words: His business is now closed.

 

Before my “business is closed” I want quite a few more things accomplished. I will start by living more everyday!

 

Week 17 ” A journey to die for”

For the makeover virtue of this week I have chosen to look for Courage. How appropriate for the Hero´s Journey- week. It takes courage to take a step into the unknown, listening to the “Herald´s call to adventure” and acting on it.

Also very appropriately I have found myself in a couple of very challenging situations this week when I have had the chance to

#1 apply new knowledge from this course and choose my response wisely, in a (for me) uncharacteristicly calm and courageous way when it comes to standing up for myself.

#2 be a Hero and take a leap when an opportunity presented itself.

Choosing to be a Hero in my own life gives everything a new meaning. It is very liberating to focus on opportunity and the positive outcome of things, instead of worrying and listening to the negative and fear based opinions of others. Sticking with a positive mental attitude is not always the easiest thing, but I try not to be too hard on myself when I fall off the wagon with my Mental Diet, and I reach out to my MasterMind Alliance and pick up that positive vibe again.

Some weeks back during the course I wrote this down on an indexcard: “Responsability- the ability to choose your response”. Very simple words- but very powerful to me. I like to read that card and when I do I get a sense of parenting myself. Growing up. That feeling of  ” cut your hair and get a job!”

During the week I have been giving the question “What am I pretending now to know?” some good thought. I dedicated one of my longer meditations/or sits to this and it gave me the same feeling again of growing up and taking responsability. What am I hanging on to so hard in my life out of fear, that it prevents me from having what I really want? And what do I really want out of life?  How does my behaviour affect the people in my life and around me? Taking responsability for how my behaviour effects others makes me a more receptive and loving person. Perhaps even a more lovable person. *********     Loving this!

Knowing what is worth living for leads us on to the question of what is worth dying for.  In the picture of the Hero´s Journey we can see death and rebirth being pictured at the bottom. The death of old behaviours, the letting go of what we no longer have use for on our journey towards a new reality. The death of the old self to allow the authentic self to be rediscovered.

 

To let my old self die is something I have attempted before, so it is no surprise to me that I am resisting. If the 4 stages of resisting change are :

-denial

-anger

-grief

-acceptance

I would say I am at grief right now. Most of the anger I had during my first weeks of the Mkmma is over now. If I feel any anger it is mostly with myself when I miss a read or sit because of lack of getting my priorities in order. Sometimes it is a hard choice between family time and personal.

Tonight I am giving myself credit for all my effort during these past 4 months and I look myself in the mirror and say “I love you” with pride.

To everyone with me on this journey I want to say: Congratulations and Good work! Thanks for all your support!

To anyone reading this, not in this course yet, I want to say:  this Journey is to die for!

Week 17 Concentration and focus

When I teach Body Reading at the massage school I always begin by telling my students to take in the big picture of the client´s body and remember the first impression. What is deviating from balance? What sticks out as awkward or uncomfortable? They learn to inspect the physical body; the muscles,fascia,and skeleton,  the software and the hardware, check range of movement, actively and passively. We zoom in on the body to the smallest detail, and then we take a step back and go to the initial, first impression again.

At times a student will get frustrated with the multitude of things to learn to look for. He or she will get lost in the details and forget the main purpose. What is the main thing to look for? What does all that which I am seeing mean? What should I focus on?

It`s all about keeping the focus on the main thing, isn´t it? Keeping the main thing the main thing is the main thing. In my student´s case that would be searching for restrictions to do something about. 

In my case, and other participants of the MasterKeyClass, that would be…………………..probably the same! To search for the restrictions that keeps you from achieving what you want. And then of course to do something about them 🙂

The lesson given this week is about learning to concentrate on what we want, in a relaxed way. I don`t know if it is new or different from what we have done earlier during the course, but it still is a good lesson for me. In all it´s simplicity the lesson is excellent. We are taught that if we wish to eliminate something out of our life, we are to concentrate on the opposite. For example: to eliminate disease, focus on health, to eliminate fear, focus on courage, to eliminate lack, focus on abundance. 

The Law of Growth; what we focus on grows, what we forget atrophies.

The Law of Relaxation: mental effort defeats itself.

 

 

 

 

 

Keeping my concentration effortless!